Saturday 17 March 2007

Goosy,Goosey, Gander.

It is a policy of ours after the excruciating losses of first, King Duck and then the pretty little Henny Penny many years ago not to name the poultry, as it is hard enough to know that they are feeding the local predators without having a name to metaphorically hang on that pathetically empty perch. Therefore,it was not without due consideration that I have named one particular duck Mr, (or Mrs to be fair) No Brain, this is the affectionate shortening, his full title is Mr No Bloody Brain At All. This was after chasing him round the runs last night attempting to get him into safety with very little luck. While I was creeping around the back of the runs attempting to take him by surprise he was wildly running around quacking “Quick!! Escape, all of you…she is out to get you, flee, flee whilst you can” advice taken not by his fellow ducks (too busy stuffing their beaks with grain) but by the geese, they now are locked up at night since we found a “late” one, as Mma Ramotswe would say, last week. They listened and listened good to the demented duck and made immediate plans for their escape. I had manage to chivvy them in the general direction of their abode before becoming distracted by Mr NBBAA but now off they squawked round and round the hen huts in a jolly game through the mud, dark and driving rain. This time, as I was in a hurry to get them away (bad idea) I had forgotten to put my welly boots on and had a nice pair of totally smooth bottomed boots for maximum amusement and minimum grip....plenty of comedic scope there. In a flash of unusual, uncharacteristic ingenuity I managed to build a superb barricade to stop them slipping between the huts and hence guide/chivvy them into theirs. This was a really, really good plan brilliantly conceived, or it was once I had stopped up the all holes in the netting that were invisible in the dark to human eyes but not to goose ones. Three times round the trees and huts later I was locking them all in…victorious. As you may have noticed I was not helped in this endeavour at all by Lucy the border collie, a breed renowned for its herding abilities. No, she was elsewhere in the field eating something horrid that I had no wish to investigate at that time of night and only rejoined me once the work was done. I then re-entered the house to wash the red dye out of the girls’ hair but that is another story. Anyway Rain, Rain and more Rain (and muddy dogs) today. How lucky are we to live in a green, verdant landscape with none of the global water shortages that bedevil so many of the worlds’ populations? See, I can look on the bright side sometimes!
NB Totally inconsequental side note:-These events took place on Thursday, was unable to access Blogger yesterday...but it is still raining!!

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